How I Created a Monster or My sister is Psycho, Please HELP!.

Everyone has hobbies. I understand that. They can be great outlets and they come in all shapes and sizes. But there is a point where hobbies go from fun enjoyment to crazed obsession. My sister has reached that point in her latest hobby and it's all my fault. Let me explain....

I watch a lot of Asian television. I got into it because I am an anime fan. One day I discovered the anime I was currently watching had a live action version. Yeah!! I decided to find it online and download it. When I found it the show was on an excellent site with 1000's of raw and subtitled videos of live action television shows from asia. I watched a few of the anime related shows. Then I watched a few non anime related shows and was officially hooked. Asian dramas have a lot of advantages over American TV.

1) They are short spanning 9-20 episodes on average.
2) They are single season shows.
3) Many are essentially glorified romantic comedies, however they can cover any topic from spies to schoolgirls.
4) No dragging extended plot points. The show comes on, completes it's run and is done.
5) Apparently there are super hot men in Asia. Who knew?

I began to watch quite a bit. However my definition of quite a bit was approx. a month to finish 2 or 3 shows. A few of these shows I even deemed worthy of purchasing. Here is where the problem started.

After spending hard earned money on a show I felt like it should be shared. One such show was the wonderful My Lovely Sam-soon, a Korean drama. I decided to lend it to my sister because I felt like the subject matter (a 30 something woman looking for love) was right up her alley. She enjoyed it. A LOT!

Bis Sis: Kim Sam soon is the greatest show ever!
Me: I'm glad you like it. Could you send it back please?
Big Sis: I need more Kim Sam soon!
Me: Well there really isn't anymore. The stories done.
Big Sis: Noooooo!
Me: Well I can give you this other show called Palace. You may like it. But I will need Sam-soon back.
Big Sis: Is it just like Kim Sam soon?
Me: Uh not really.
Big Sis: Sort of like Kim Sam soon?
Me: NO! There is no more Kim sam-soon. Take Palace or nothing.
Big Sis: Fine send it to me right away.
Me: Um OK but I would really like mine ..... (realized she hung up on me).

Well I made the mistake of feeding the beast early on. I could have nipped it in the bud early but I foolishly encouraged her. When she called gushing about Palace I said that's nice. When she called asking for the website to get the dramas online I gave it to her. When she sent me a 500GB external hard drive and asked me to fill it with dramas I did it. And I barely complained. Then the calls started.

3:00am my time.
Me: (Picking up phone and wondering who could be calling) Hello?
Big Sis: Oh my god this is the greatest drama ever. I love it. Do you remember the part where...
Me: Big Sis?
Big Sis: Are you listening? this drama is wonderful. I plan to marry the male lead. I love it (continues raving for thirty minutes)
Me: Uh sure it was great Yeah um wonderful.
Big Sis: Hey are you listening?
Me: Actually it's kinda late. There is a bit of a time difference between Vegas and ATL you know.
Big Sis: Oh okay I'll call you later

12 hours later she calls
Big Sis: I need your help in deciding what next to watch. Oh and what did you think of BLAH BLAH BLAH.

You see my problem. She went absolutely crazy! She called every damn day to talk about dramas. If I didn't answer she texted me about dramas. She wanted the Soundtrack to dramas. She started reading blogs about dramas. She wanted to go to foreign artists concerts. She wanted to learn to encode video so she could upload dramas. She started watching the only US TV station that played Asian dramas. She started calling me at night to discuss the drama she was currently watching and what she should watch next. She started watching dramas while working. She stayed up late in the night till the next day watching dramas. She formed a Yahoo group to learn Korean. She made KOREAN FLASHCARDS. She wanted a $200 piece of electrical equipment so she could watch dramas on regular TV instead of her computer. She created an excel spread sheet to keep track of her dramas and give them grades. I thought she would calm down after a few months. I figured it was a burst of love and then her interests would taper off. Well it's a year later and she is still going strong. She found a store in Vegas that sells the stuff she wants. She has decided in her previous life she was Asian. That's how I knew she had totally lost it.

I don't know what to do. I have mentioned to her a time or two (or 200) that I thought she was just a smidgen obsessed. She pointed out that I have watched more then she has. Technically that's true and our mother has us both beat 30 times over (don't even get me started on her. She's my sister squared to the 10th power). It kinda under cuts my arguments even though what she watched in a few months took me years to watch. I don't know what will become of her. Hopefully she will come to her senses soon. I am not holding my breath. In the mean time it makes Xmas shopping ever so much easier.

Beijing Day 8 and 9- The trip is over! Let the repayment of credit cards begin!

Well it's all over. I am writing this from my home computer. The Olympics have ended. My last full day in Beijing was spent getting ready to leave. I returned to Yashow better prepared to haggle for luggage. I got a great price 250 yaan for a giant new suitcase. Actually I didn't haggle at all. That's Cierra's job. Unfortunately it served to remind me that I paid twice as much for fake Puma sneakers. I then promptly left Yashow. We went to Waufujing AGAIN to do some last minute Fuwa/t-shirt shopping and so the Neville's could try the Night Market. They were total punks. They ate nothing adventurous. I don't even know why we bothered to go.
Our last Olympic event was Women's Basketball gold medal game. We got the tickets to guarantee we saw at least one U.S. Gold at the Olympics. However by then we had all seen several US Golds and other medals. But it's basketball! Plus it was us v. the evil Aussie's who were out in full force and actually thought they could win. Crazy Aussies. Well surprise surprise it was a blowout. It wasn't even close. Since the result was fairly clear after the first quarter I spent the rest of the time checking out the men's team through my binoculars. (FYI the guys go to the girls games and the girls go to the guys games. It's required by US basketball.) The Chinese who inexplicably love all things Kobe were trying hard to get to him. The poor little volunteers had to work during half time to keep the masses away. However quite a few scandalous looking chicks got through. They got to sit on Kobe's lap. It was probably the highlight of their foolish little lives. To give the guys credit though a lot of them were there with their kids and they really did seem to be focused on the game. They gave Lisa Leslie a standing ovation when she fouled out so I forgave them their whorishness. Team USA including Lisa waved at us while they were getting their medals. We have a giant American flag and we were in a sparcely populated secton so we were very easy to see. Plus all three of us had basketball shades, cowboy hats, face stickers and leis. It doesn't hurt that we are incredibly loud. It gets us a lot of athlete love. The Star-spangled Banner just sounds so much better after you deliver an ass-whopping to another country. I left the Stadium on quite a high talking trash to every Aussie I saw.

They next day we hoped on a plane and flew 13 hrs to DC. We arrived early to the Beijing airport luckily because our flight left an hour and a half early. This may seem strange but apparently China had decided to shut down the airspace for some VIP's and we had to leave before them. I feel sorry for anyone who wasn't early since there is only one United flight a day. This is something the Chinese do regularly. While we were in the Forbidden City they started closing off doors and separated our tour group. The reason they gave was just VIP's coming. VIP's apparently can do anything in China including trapping people in ancient buildings.
All in all I thought China was fantastic. The weather was lovely. The city was beautiful and the people were very friendly. Sometimes a little too friendly with all the photo taking (we stopped counting at 30something a few days ago. A dozen at the basketball game alone) but still very nice. Sure the hotel had strange quirks, no one speaks English and they think if they just yell the Mandarin you will somehow understand it. Finding a non-squatting bathroom was difficult. Shops were unbearably crowded and people robbed me blind. They lack so many freedoms they don't even know what their missing. Overall though I think I may visit China again one day. Maybe Shanghai next time since I've seen Beijing. I had fun and am glad I went. It was worth the year of saving. I am also happy to be home in my dryer having house with a soft bed. China's cool and all but America will always be number 1! Hell let's be honest the rest of the world can't hold a candle to us. GO U.S.A.!!!!!

Beijing Day 7 Tour 3 and the Waufujing Night Market aka Scorpions the other white meat

We went on our last Tour yesterday to the Temple of Heaven and the Summer Palace. They were very relaxed tours that consisted of looking at pretty buildings and lawns. They were impressive and the view from the Temple of Heaven was spectacular. You can see all of Beijing for miles around. It's like their Eiffel Tower but much shorter. After they took us to the Pearl Market where I spent far to much money considering I don't wear jewelry. The Nevilles had tickets to track at night so they left after we got back to the hotel. (On a side note of course they made it on the Today show. I am sooooo unlucky!!!!) I decided to do some more shopping in Waufujing. Waufujing is like Times Square. Lots of shops and walking people. We had attempted to make it to the Waufujing Night Market before but we got their too late. I decided to go on my own after checking out the more regular shops. I shouldn't have to explain the Night Market. You have undoubtedly seen the email of it that has been going around for ages. There are about 50 stalls all in a row on the street. They sell some shall we say "interesting" foods. The first stall sold carmelized glazed fruit (My statements on what something was is an educated guess. I don't speak Chinese. It could have been anything). I tried it and it was quite tasty. This encouraged me to keep going. I wandered past many stalls with raw meat on sticks. I don't do raw, so I stopped at the deep fried ice cream stall next. The merchant told me the cream puff balls were bannaa so I bought them. It tasted fine but certainly not like banana. It was also super greasy. I gave up after 2 balls. I continued on and came upon 4 American Guys. We'll call them the Braves from now on. The Braves had sticks of giant scorpions. I pretty much dared them to eat it. And of course they did since men are simple creatures. Unfortunately they felt that since they had tried big ones I should be willing to try small ones. I did not particularly agree with this plan.
I claimed poverty-they offered to pay.
I claimed food allergies- The Brave pointed out that I could hardly be allergic to what I had never eaten.
I claimed a delicate stomach-the Braves pointed out that small scorpions could hardly do much damage.
I told them raw food is unhealthy-The Braves pointed out the scorpions are deep fried.
This was actually something I did not know. All sticks of meat are actually deep fried before they are given out. This includes the scorpions. At this point they were waving the stick in my face and I didn't want to seem like a punk (I guess women are simple creatures too). I grabbed it off the spike and popped it in my mouth whole. Then I crunched and crunched and crunched and swallowed. Honestly it really isn't that bad. Scorpion is not as bad as you think. It's sort of nutty and squirmy. However that was as adventurous as I was willng to get. The Braves went on to try catapillars, silk worms, snakes and other assorted dishes. However they did have to draw the line somewhere. When I suggested they try the sheep penis they all refused. Something about once you cross that line you can never go back. I couldn't talk them into it at all. Oh well.... Next up is my last full day, the Basketball finals and the Night market with the Nevilles. It's almost over....

American Hotel v. Chinese Hotel Too close to call or blowout? We report, You decide.

So this is the second to last day at the hotel and I have been thinking about whether I would ever want to come back to a similar hotel. Hotels vary in quality all over any given country but this is a 4 star hotel complete with pressed suit bellhops. There are certain amenities I would expect. Some things are surprisingly good, others not so much. For example...

Plus-Big beds
Minus-Beds as hard as the floor. Perhaps harder since the floor has carpet.

Plus-the TV is a fairly large 27 incher.
Minus-it has 2 remotes and they never explain how to use it. It takes real work to find all the channels. We recently discovered CNN. Some fellow tour members just discovered HBO (which we found on day one). Instructions would have been nice.

Plus-there is a computer with internet access in every room which is how you get all these lovely emails.
Minus-No WiFi! Can't use iphone the way I expected. Computer has no harddrive or CDrom. Screen doesn't scroll down while typing.

Plus-Washing machine in every room which is super convenient.
Minus-No Dryers IN ALL OF CHINA, No iron in room. No ironing board in room. You may wonder how they expect you to dry your clothes. They suggest hanging them out the balcony.

Plus-Linens are nice and clean.
Minus-THEY DO NOT CHANGE THEM. They will change your towels if you throw them on the floor but they will not change the sheets unless you specifically ask and they act like you are crazy for wanting it. Also no wash clothes.

Plus-Employs an english speaking member of the staff.
Minus-Doesn't keep this person on during the night.

Plus-Restaurant that sells american food in hotel
Minus-Food tastes like horse shit.

Plus-Supermarket in hotel.
Minus-Prices eye-poppingly high.

Plus-Rooms are air conditioned.
Minus-Not central air. Units are in each room and they have an off and an on but that's it. What this means is the room is hot so you turn on the air. Then it gets freezing so you turn off the air. Then it gets hot and you turn on the air......Repeat this process twice an hour every hour and that's Beijing.

Plus-Regular toilet and not hole in ground like we feared.
Minus-Toilet paper rolls are 1/4 the size of the US and they will not provide an extra roll when they clean your room.

Plus-Bathroom shower is nice and big.
Minus-water drains out of it too slow to turn water pressure up full blast. And it leaks.

It really is hard to decide for me. The room is pretty and well decorated but there are just so many quirks. Of course there are quirks to all international travel. I guess it all depends on what you can live with.

Day 5 and 6. The unsuccessful days. Except for Fuwa!

These last days have been a tad unsuccessful. We didn't do any tours but we shopped and walked a lot. Yesterday we went to a great second hand store shop. It was big as an office building and the suites were stalls of designer stuff. Unfortunately the Chinese are a tiny people and I am not. It was like looking at a giant cheesecake that was just two inches too far away while you were locked in a cage. All I could shop for were bags. However the current style for bags is super big and I am a small bag girl so the whole trip was just disappointing. We then found the standard shopping in Beijing which is actually quite pricey. This city is a lot like New York. I did however find a giant shop for FUWA which is my current obsession. I may buy the store out on my last day. Next we went to a lovely restaurant. The food was fabulous as always. We were very careful to order only ONE meal and then we shared. and then ordered another. We feel this is the best method. On a side note all the exotic Chinese or foreign food we have tried has been excellent. The problem comes in when you try to get American food. It is all god awful. When I say god awful I mean inedible. For example- Buy a pepperoni pizza, expect it to come with corn on it. Buy standard Chinese chicken and broccoli with rice, don't expect them to have skinned the chicken before cutting it up. It's mind boggling because the chicken is skinned in chinese dishes. Do they think we like fat!? Expect french fries to come cold. We were originally leary of the Chinese food food but we have learned our lesson. Only unrecognizable food. It's sure to taste better. Tomorrow or Saturday night we will be headed to the night market where I will be trying the scorpions on a stick. It's got to be better then their pizza.

Today we woke up and went to a massage parlor. It wasn't what I expected. Unlike in the US you dont take your clothes off. You change into some pajama like outfit and they massage you through it. Well massage is probably not the right word. More like take out all their frustrations on your poor pitiful body. I thought she was attacking me with a rolling pin. Turns out it was just her bony arms. It was insane. I tried not to cry out the whole time. It was a full body massage from head to tow. It started badly because they massage your face first and I thought she was trying to crush my head in. Then she did the rolling pin poking thing. She ended with her knees in my back pushing my arms back. I didn't know my back could make such noises. When I have recovered I may feel more relaxed but as of now you couldn't pay me to repeat the experience. Tonight we had our second Olympic event which was TaeKwonDo. We saw the Lopez Girl and a Lopez Guy. They got silver and bronze. As usual we did our screaming and chanting. The Chinese are not a cheering people so they are always amazed at how loud we are. We actually got the Chinese around us to start rooting for the US too (China wasn't in medal contention). This little girl started banging her bottles and screaming USA. She couldn't even speak English. Her father was amused so he went along. We heard them and said THANKS!. Then other people got into it. I feel proud! We brought cheering for the underdog to the Chinese. (We were beaten by the Koreans. Tae Kwon Do History Lesson- Tae Kwon Do was invented by Koreans. We had no chance but it was really close in the end) It was held in a small arena so the best part was the Lopez's could see us and waved at us. Our huge American flag stood out and they could probably hear all our go Lopez's. They waved at the end of their matches and during the medal ceremony. Finally an athlete acknowledges all my hard work on their behalf. It's about time. Only one more event left which is basketball. I wish I had more taekwondo but oh well. Can't watch people kick each other every day. Tomorrow is the final tour. Bye!

NBC v CCTV Guess who wins? Hint: It's not CCTV

For many years I have complained about NBC's coverage of the Olympics. They have too many commercials, too many fluff pieces, too much talking. Well I have seen the alternatives and NBC is practically scintillating compared to CCTV. Right now Track finals are going on. DO you think CCTV is showing them. DO you think CCTV is showing any Olympic event. NO!!!!! They are showing some stupid special on their gymnastics teams. They never show ANYTHING the Chinese aren't favored in. I have sat through hours of prelim rowing and other crap on NBC in their attempts to provide fair coverage of all events. I have sat through dozens of medal ceremonies for other nations on NBC. In China it's like no one else is in the damn Olympics. They don't even mention their own players silvers and bronzes. It's all Chinese Gold all the time. When they have no Chinese Gold to talk about they show Montages of the Gold's they already won. They then cut to commercial. These commercials consist of olympians on pedestals being worshipped by the masses (literally), pop stars singing that damn Beijing welcomes you song and the medal count. They also really like the Russian pole vaulter. So every now and then they show her event. Yes thats right they are showing repeats. Not just clips REPEATS OF OLDER OLYMPIC EVENTS DURING THE OLYMPICS. Around 2 am they will show a less then 30 minute round up of the non Chinese Olympics. They will show this once a day. If you miss it, you must wait till you return to your own country. They will not show it again. I am in the Host City and the only Olympics I have seen that wasn't related to China I saw with my own eyes. It's ridiculous. I am sitting here fuming because I can't watch the great track finals that are going on. And it's not as if track is unpopular here. The stadium was pretty packed when we went. I don't understand it.
Seriously I understand nationalism but the Chinese have taken it to a crazy extreme. CCTV is government TV and it shows. Pure propaganda all the time. I enjoy international travel, but every time I leave my country I am reminded of one simple fact. America does everything better then everyone else. Yeah thats right I said it.

Beijing Day 3 and 4-Tiannamen, The Forbidden City and How I got jacked out of 500 Yaan

Day 3 was another tour. We went to Tiannamen Square and the Forbidden City. Tiannamen Square was cool with some good pic opportunities. We decided to start counting the number of people who took photos with us or took our photos discreetly for the trip because so many were doing it there. (Current count 30). Then we went to the Forbidden City. Though the buildings are impressive it's was too big to really enjoy. It really is a city. It seemed miles long. We saw maybe one tenth of it. The insides are fairly well preserved (You have to look into the windows to see it) , but the heavy traffic has taken a toll on the outside. Plus weather. It needs restoration, but in China's defense it's hard to restore a building with 99000 1/2 rooms. But it is impressive and amazing to behold. After we went to some old Beijing neighborhood with some interesting houses. We even got to go inside one. However the old neighborhood was in the Lake District which we went to on the first night so we did not linger. The day ended with Chinese Opera which was pretty bad. A lot of screeching and wailing with some acrobatics thrown in. I could barely stay awake. All the walking through TS and TFC had worn me down. I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Day 4 was a painful day for me. We didn't do any tours and decided to shop at a market. The market was 4 floors of stalls with bootleg items. The sales people were super aggressive. I decided to go off by myself for the first hour. It was a mistake. A BIG MISTAKE. See Cierra is haggle central. She's the greatest haggler in the world. I on the other hand am too nice. I bought one pair of shoes for $500 Yaan (70 bucks) Cierra bought the SAME SHOE for $60 Yaan (7 dollars) Thats right I paid TEN TIMES as much as she did. Not only that I had haggled to get that $500 Yaan. I felt as I walked away that I got ganked. I then saw some Chanel watches (on my list to buy) but I couldn't get the lady to haggle down. Once you buy something at a crazy price they tell the others. And they tell how much you have in your wallet. Well when we met up again we stayed together. Cierra did all my haggling. I got some bootleg coach that I had to sneak into a dark stairwell to look at. Cierra did great. Strangers were asking her to haggle for them. It was awesome. In the evening we FINALLY saw our first olympic event TRACK. US is great in track. The first thing we saw was a medal ceremony from an earlier event where the US had swept the medals. We had small medium and giant flags and we waved and sang. I cheered for my back up team of Jamaica because they were in a lot of the prelim events. I got to see the fastest man U. Bolt who won the 100m in the 200m prelim. He smoked them (but US qualified so who knows in final--UPDATE-He smoked them in the final too). The US qualified in almost everything we saw. We saw things like high jump and discus finals with no americans. We also got to see some US hurdles woman bronze and US 400m womans gold. The event started and ended with the US anthem. The birds nest stadium which should be called the Sauna stadium was crazy hot. Our seats were high but excellent. I am so glad we bought our tickets way early. The prices some of those people paid were insane. I will not be going back to the birds nest but Cierra and Cherise will go to the relays. Oh during the last US anthem at the end we sang out really loudly. People were looking at us but who cares. The Chinese volunteers took photos. They also congratulates us on our victories. Several Chinese did. I think they are jealous of the US's track success. There main (and only) track star is out injured. U.S.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!